In recent years, the trend of wedding themes has overtaken the wedding industry. If you look on Pinterest, you can find examples of bohemian, industrial, forest, seasonal (with an emphasis on winter, summer, fall, or spring), vintage, historical (with an allusion to an historical period), and other wedding themes. You can also see how the specific theme trends change based on the different color choices year after year.

In my view trends can be helpful, and sometimes even necessary. For a wedding planner and other wedding vendors, trends are easy to work with because everyone understands what kind of style is being discussed. The problem is that planning such a themed wedding without making a specific connection to the marrying couple, their personalities or unique style, can end up with nothing more than a beautiful but empty shell.

Look, your wedding style is like a dress or a suit. One will suit you, but another may not. In one you may feel regal, but in another you may feel like a pauper (no matter how beautiful the wedding might outwardly be). More accurately, with one style you may feel like you’re attending a ball, while with another you may feel as if you’re on the outskirts of the ball and you’re not sure how you got there.

It doesn’t matter at what point of your wedding planning process you now find yourself. Even if you’ve only just received a marriage proposal, the moment of needing to begin planning, and an ensuing feeling of uncertainty about the future look of your wedding, are inevitable.

When I received my marriage proposal eight years ago, I would have given a lot for someone to explain to me what I should have focused on in my wedding planning. It’s really very business-like, but the ultimate goal should be to remain true to yourself. This matters because if you are invisible among the wedding elements that you’ve chosen (whether they’re ones the wedding industry offers, or just those you can afford), you’ll feel badly on your wedding day. You’ll feel stressed and reserved. You do not want this. Your wedding is only one day that goes by really fast, and it would be a shame not to enjoy every moment of it and not remember it fondly afterward.

I have a seen all kind of brides. Some of them knew exactly what they wanted, or thought they knew, but later changed their minds. But more often than not, I encountered brides like the bride I used to be: Ones who were unsure of themselves, did not know what they wanted, and were operating only on a hunch.

When I was organizing my Dutch-Russian wedding, I felt like a blind cat as I was visiting wedding vendors and discussing my wedding with them in my broken Dutch. Moreover, I did not even know what questions to ask because I did not have a clear picture of what I wanted in my head. Almost seven years after my own wedding, and after receiving the certifications of a wedding planner, I now understand that the decision over the style of the wedding is much deeper than just deciding what you think you like or what is pretty. You can see this as a test of your self-identification and personality. If you have gone through personal growth, and you know yourself well, you will have a much easier time expressing yourself at your wedding. If your wedding planning has coincided with a crisis of identity, as it had in my case, use the wedding planning process as your chance to truly discover yourself.

So even if it significantly complicates the task of choosing the style of your wedding, prioritize choosing a theme that genuinely represents you and your personality. Your wedding theme should fit you like a glove. Pictures on Pinterest can be great for inspiration, but don’t forget to beautifully display yourself.

Do you want to brainstorm the style of your wedding? Comment with your biggest question, doubt, or thought that you’ve had after reading this blog. I will personally choose the winners, with whom I’ll conduct an online brainstorm session intended to help pinpoint their individual wedding style.

 

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