If you’ve attended a wedding at least once in your life, you’ll know that it’s usually a merry party with a hint of tradition. The bride and groom are the center of the event, and everyone has come to see them. But, how does the marrying couple experience this attention-filled festivity?

A wedding is usually a very long and minutely scheduled day for the marrying couple. On the day of the wedding, everything may seem organized and clear, but the emotions you might experience are the one thing you cannot control. At some point, you might find yourself wanting something very different from what your plan for the day dictates. You might feel very tired, for example, but think that you cannot to leave tactfully ­– because, of course, it’s your wedding.

People ­don’t always talk about the fact that being a beautiful bride and wearing a lovely white dress does not always elicit the expected joy. If in your life you typically do not like being the center of attention, you might find yourself feeling quite uncomfortable with everyone staring at you at the wedding, no matter how beautiful you look. While brides typically elicit more of the attention due to the flashier attire, of course grooms can also find all this attention unwelcome.

It’s a contradiction, but in a happy moment when you are the center of attention, and everything is being done for you exactly as you want it, you end up feeling uncomfortable. This discomfort can be so severe that after the wedding the event can actually become a negative memory. As a wedding professional, I attended many weddings in which there were moments when the bride or groom needed a «pep talk.” As a wedding organizer, the desire to help a couple overcome such feelings is my biggest motivator. I deeply desire that the day that you’ve planned and waited for together will go in your drawer of happy memories, and not the bad ones. I want you to say that this was one of the happiest days of your life.

Not much is actually necessary for this. First, you need to accept the fact that you will be the center of attention, and process your feelings about it before your wedding day. Second, you can take into consideration the fact that you might feel uncomfortable on the day by allotting yourself a time during the day to rest or take a break (perhaps several times throughout the day) from all the attention. Third, because you might forget to attend to your emotional state in all the chaos of this day, select a trusted person among your friends and family (or your professional wedding planner, if you choose to use one), who will make sure you’re feeling alright and that you have a chance to take a break.

Although you might feel obligated to your guests, remember that you have an absolute right for some time alone to close your eyes in silence, take a shower, lie down, or take a walk. Yes, you must absolutely do this if it’s going to help you get joy from the festivities of the day. Being the center of attention for many hours on end might be hard even for extroverted people, unless they’re politicians or entertainers who are accustomed to such attention. Most ordinary people will need to recharge their batteries.

Have you taken your feelings into account when planning your wedding?

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